Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
Feelings buried alive never die.
The text in bold is excerpts from the books
“Feelings Buried Alive Never Die”
and “The Healing Code”.
“The Link Between Verbal Abuse and Anxiety
That No One Talks About”
http://mindwaft.com/link-verbal-abuse-anxiety-no-one-talks/
This is so true! This is exactly what I was dealing with
but I didn't realize it yet.
When I was between the ages of 6 and 10 years old
I was going to an orthodontist by the name of
- George Georgiff. A horrible orthodontist to say
the least. He was a bully. I had to have a lot of teeth
pulled as a young kid and he would be pulling teeth
and saying that I wasn't in any pain when I was
screaming in pain. He said I wasn't bleeding when I
clearly was. He grilled mom and I relentlessly about
school. He didn't like homeschoolers. He said bad
things about homeschoolers. He gave homeschooling
a bad name.I felt rejected, unaccepted, ashamed, guilty,
judged, etc. Little did I know the emotional effect this
would have on me for the next 20 years. Severe anxiety
that would wreck havoc on my life for the next 20 years.
Within the first 6 years of life, we live in what's called a delta
theta brainwave state. This means that our experiences are
“directly hardwired” into our brains without being filtered
through our more rational, conscious judgement we develop
later on. Because we were too young to understand and sort
out the true picture. Our own lack of maturity—our own lack
of wisdom—produced the incorrect perception.
Actually I believe that until we're emotionally mature enough to see
a situation realistically and deal with it properly it gets hardwired into
our brains. Each person matures at a different age and time. These
are the traumas that get buried, repressed, suppressed because
they are unresolved.
This is exactly what happened to me. I had Buried, suppressed the
memory of DR. George Georgiff because it was too painful and I
was too young and emotionally I was too immature to deal with it
properly.
From the time of conception until we are adults we are strongly
influenced by the feelings, thoughts, and attitudes of others.
These feelings and attitudes are supplied to us by those who
love us, by those who teach us, and by those who interact with
us on a daily basis. Those who interact with us include parents,
other family members, playmates, school companions, friends,
relatives, teachers,DOCTORS, and other authority figures, as well
as what we may ingest from observing the media. When a thought
(in this case, something someone said) is fed to us, and this
thought connects with an established feeling that becomes
energized by an emotional response, we unconsciously buy into
what the person said as though it were an authentic, actual, valid
truth. Sometimes the thought fed to us may even be a further
validation of our already established, false, or incorrect feelings
I need to digress to say this: this is for everybody but especially for teachers
and doctors,dentists and counselors. Please be really careful what you say,
especially to a kid or teen.mThey are at an age where they look up to you.
You have a chance to either make a HUGE positive impact on their life, or a
HUGE negative impact on their life. You don't know what kid or teen has
already been through. Be nice, be loving, be a support system for that person,
be a friend. You never know when God may place you in a person's life right
when they need you the most. I think all doctors, teachers, dentists and
counselors should be required to read the books
“feelings buried alive never die”, “the healing code” and “boundaries”.
If they understood these truths and took them to heart and lived by them it
would change people's lives. If we all lived by Ephesians 4:29 the world would
be a better place and people probably wouldn't have nearly so much emotional
trauma.
The person who is made to feel that he is continually making mistakes will then automatically
embrace the feeling of guilt for being, as he sees it, so dumb and stupid.
I felt ashamed for being homeschooled. I felt guilty for not living up to the world's standards.
The feeling of guilt is then added to his negative beliefs about himself and thus becomes
further validation of his inadequacies and a sad, depreciating and motivating factor in his life.
One incorrect perception can lead to another, and another, and another,
until the majority of the perceptions he has about himself are so distorted that he feels
absolutely worthless. Remember, even if the perception is distorted and untrue, the mind-body
still believes it to be true. When a feeling or a thought validates what we already believe to be
true, the emotion accompanying the validation gathers energy and becomes more and more
indelibly fixed, rooted and ingrained in us. And this, in turn, is what profoundly governs our
daily beliefs, attitudes and actions from then on.
Whenever someone would give me a compliment I felt very reluctant to accept it because I didn't feel
worthy of it.
This is also why I had no self esteem my whole life until now. Because so much wrong thinking was
instilled into me from the get go and on through the years. For the first time ever I'm finding confidence
that I've never had in my entire life.
I'm now able to accept compliments without reluctance.
An interesting thing about trauma memories is that when we go through a trauma,
even a small one, our higher rational thinking is disconnected to some degree. Why?
Because the person goes into some degree of shock. If you have seen a person in shock
(even a depiction on TV) you may remember that the person may not be able to speak.
Whenever one of those trauma memories is reactivated, your conscious logical,
rational brain will be bypassed and it will go to your reactive, emotional brain.
Your reactive brain will react immediately, way faster than you can think about it;
it will cause you to put your foot on the brake, so you will not have an accident.
whether we are twenty, forty, or sixty years old, when that “memory” that happened when we
were five years old is reactivated by something that happens today, we will not be able to deal
with the situation rationally. Our ability to logically think something out and reason about it and
then do what needs to be done is either turned off or vastly impaired.
you are not dealing with something that happened ten, twenty or thirty years ago—
it is an emergency happening right now. will take you back to whatever age you were when
that pain memory was created with the reasoning ability of that age, and the feelings and
emotions.
Anytime anyone, it didn't matter who it was, it could be friends, family, neighbors, strangers, doctors,
teachers, asked me about school I would go into panic mode. I felt like I was being attacked and judged.
I felt threatened. I didn't know what to say to defend myself. I felt like I had to be so careful what I said
out of fear that if the other person didn't like what I said they might do something bad to me.
I would immediately freeze out of fear. I didn't know what else to do.
It would happen so fast. I couldn't stop it or turn it off. It would happen automatically. I couldn't control it.
It was subconscious. It would happen faster than I could think about it.
I wasn't dealing with it rationally or logically. Once I froze I couldn't think. All I knew is that I was terrified.
I saw no way out of the situation.
when the head and heart conflict, the heart wins.
When the unconscious intention and conscious intention conflict, the unconscious wins.
It is as if the mind has literally built a fort or stronghold around certain memories.
It does this to protect us from the pain of something similar happening to us again.
It believes that if we aren’t vigilantly on guard, we might be hurt again.
This is why I would freeze. I was on guard.
Uncertainty automatically presses the FEAR button—fears of any and all kinds, and the mind
can go wild with these fears!
This condition is known as a “Phobia.” A phobia is an obsessive, irrational fear or anxiety
which represents the ultimate panic attack.
But a phobic person is mostly haunted by what has happened in the past and living with a
horrendous fear of what can happen in the future.
The unconscious mind works by association.
And... the other characteristic of a phobia is that it flourishes via illusion. The illusion is worry—
what if—and our unconscious imagining takes it from there and runs wild.
This was so me! I lived in fear of what people might say or do if they didn't like the fact that I was
homeschooled.
This fear has been stored, for who knows how long, in the subconscious mind which is
connected to the nervous system. When this fear is triggered by a sight, a smell, a touch or a
sound it arouses feelings of anxiety, fright and panic—
Major trauma in a person’s life can also establish a fear that causes a phobia. If the trauma,
at the time of its occurrence, is more than the person can cope with emotionally,
often the mind provides a block that keeps the person from remembering the incident.
This is exactly what happened to me. I had buried and forgotten the memory of my first orthodontist.
I couldn't even remember his name.
People who experience these phobic fears usually feel trapped.
This trapped feeling creates terror; they feel out of control or, they feel they have no control
of what is going on in their life. They feel there is no escape from this situation—
there is no way out.
This was exactly what I was feeling when I'd get asked about school.
A phobic attack can appear very quickly, and generally a person can not identify how or where
it started.
Symptoms of a phobia are normal bodily reactions. They are just happening at the wrong time.
These symptoms may include palpitation of the heart or shortness of breath, dizziness and light
-headedness. A person may be very nervous and fidgety. Or, they may have a difficult time
swallowing or breathing and start to sweat. Often they experience rubbery legs, feel faint and
tremble. They may experience a strange tingling and their chest may hurt.
Every time someone would ask/grill me about school I experienced all these symptoms.
But I didn't understand why. I now realize it was because I felt threatened and I couldn't see a way
out of the situation.
I need to stop here to say this.
If a person is struggling with anxiety/depression, telling that person "to stop" or “to get over it” isn't going
to help at all. It will only make things worse. What that person needs is true compassion and a listening
ear, not the kind of listening where you compare your current problems to theirs, but really listening and
your own language of compassion, pats on shoulder, hugs etc. Most importantly, saying you are there
for them. To call you anytime. To reach out and mean it. Don't judge. Be kind. Be understanding.
Nobody wants to struggle with anxiety or depression, but it happens. Nobody can really understand
what another person is feeling inside.
If a person is having a panic attack, they are probably feeling threatened and not thinking rationally or
logically. If you sense they are anxious about something, try to distract them by taking them for a walk
and talking about something that person is passionate about. Try to get their mind off whatever is
causing their anxiety. That person is probably thinking in the past. Try to bring that person back to the
present. Once that person is calm and can think clearly then you can try and ask them if they want to
talk about what was bothering them. If they feel comfortable with you and feel understood they will
probably open up to you. You have a chance to make a big difference in that person’s life and they'll
never forget it.
The reason these things happen is that you have unconscious memories that are being
reactivated and you are feeling the emotion of that original memory.
Causes us to be afraid when we shouldn't be afraid.
I was terrified of the school questions but I had no idea why. I had forgotten about the root source.
The feelings we experienced during infancy and throughout our childhood which we were
unable to express, are well established, longstanding feelings which naturally registered in the
DNA and the subconscious part of our mind/ body.
I would suggest to you the possibility that you could be suffering from unresolved, repressed
and suppressed negative feelings you thought you had taken care of—feelings you thought
were dead and gone. Subconsciously, they are not forgotten nor will they be forgotten.
They are unconscious, hidden and have been denied.
Those feelings from long ago have been and are still being registered at and in the cellular
level of our Being.
These buried feelings are very real. They are energies in and of themselves.
They are alive, living, and constantly affecting you.
They are the feelings which govern our thought patterns, our beliefs, and our attitudes.
Those feelings determine our emotional reactions and our experiences in life.
Whether we recognize it or not. The experiences we are having in our lives today are the effects
caused by those unresolved feelings we denied; those feelings we stuffed and then buried alive!
The problem is, once again, THOSE FEELINGS DID NOT DIE!
This is exactly what was happening to me. I was suffering from buried, repressed,
suppressed negative memories and didn't know it.
These buried feelings have a personality, and these feelings that have been buried alive will,
of necessity, have to manifest themselves sooner or later.
For me, it manifested itself as severe anxiety and panic attacks.
Because it would happen automatically and so fast, I started to feel like maybe my body was trying to
protect me from something.
One day I started to figure out that there was something deeper going on.
That maybe this was a protective mechanism. I knew it subconscious. It would happen faster than I
could think about it. Well, I ended up being right.
Remember I had buried and forgotten the memory of my first orthodontist. I couldn't even remember
his name. That's how deeply it was buried, suppressed.
One night in bed it surfaced. All of the sudden I remembered that he was the root source of my fear
of the school questions. Once that clicked I immediately began to see a whole bunch of situations
differently.
I can now pull his name off the top of my head without any emotional pain attached to it.
A person who is reacting in fear instead of choosing love—
is likely to reject and be harsh with other people out of his or her own pain and feelings of
rejection. when our state of mind is one that is occupied with fears, doubts, troubles and
concerns—then fears, doubts, troubles and concerns are what we naturally project outward.
Altering our perception can happen in an instant . . . or it may take time.
If we choose to change the effects these undesirable feelings have created in our life,
it will be necessary to simply resolve the feelings.
However... if the thoughts are caused by unresolved, deep-seeded feelings
(meaning feelings that are buried, repressed, suppressed) that are governing our
existence, the thoughts will reoccur time and time again until we resolve the core feeling.
We CAN change our feelings by changing our thinking. But this is difficult because,
we MUST change our perception of the situation first.
This is exactly what I've been doing. I've been able to change the way I see situations and that has
helped me to be able to let go of a lot of emotional hurt.
We, in our subconscious, can go back to where undesirable feelings began and change the
vibration—change the energy of these negative feelings.
This often happens to me in bed at night. Something all of the sudden clicks and I can immediately
see things from a different perspective. At night my subconscious can process things without my
conscious getting in the way.
The subconscious association with my first orthodontist has been broken and has now been
consciously connected.
Resolving the old feelings will also change the energy these feelings brought with them.
This process re-programs the subconscious and literally changes the undesirable programming.
We can change our thoughts and this can change our feelings and our actions.
When I was in my teens I was going to Physical therapy to help what we thought was learning disabilities
. (More on that in the next post). I had a horrible physical therapist. She would grill me relentlessly
about school. The last day I saw her we had a really big fight about the school issue.
I left angry at her. I was angry at her for years.
I now realize that DR. George Georgiff didn't understand this little bit of psychology.
The guy probably wasn't a Christian either. Neither did my physical therapist.
If they had just paid attention to this little bit of psychology my life would have been very different.
we can’t expect them to accept our knowledge, understand what we understand,
or be where we are now in our knowledge and understanding.
They simply don’t have our points of reference. We can guide them to correct principles,
but we need to allow them their own experiences and allow them to grow in their own way and
at their own speed without our help as we are not responsible for making that change in them.
We can share our knowledge and experiences with them, but it is not wise to insist that they see
things from our reference point.
I may not agree with another person’s viewpoint, belief or behavior, but that doesn’t make me
right and them wrong. I can’t judge them because I wasn’t there walking in their footsteps
to understand what caused them to do what they did. I don’t have to like what they are doing
or condone it, but I have no business judging them.
When we try to force or manipulate a situation to our pleasing, we are forcing or pushing to
make it happen. It’s just like a child trying to put a square peg in a round hole.
It will never happen!
My first orthodontist and my physical therapist didn't understand this.
They didn't understand that they couldn't force me to change the way I was living my life.
They could yell and do other such unpleasant things and talk to me until I was blue in the face
but I wasn't gonna change the way I was living my life just because they thought I should.
They didn't understand boundaries. They probably weren't christians either.
They didn't understand my health issues was why I was homeschooled.
They weren't walking in my shoes so to speak.
My physical therapist also didn't understand that grilling me about school was a huge trigger for me.
Not only was I projecting fear but I was transferring a trauma onto her that she knew nothing about.
She had no idea of the emotional trauma that my first orthodontist caused me.
She didn't understand that grilling me about school only made things worse for me.
She didn't know it was my biggest trigger. I know that she didn't understand boundaries either.
She was young and nieve.
Oftentimes, the person I refuse to forgive is not suffering at all from my unforgiveness.
He or she is not giving the matter a second thought. So it’s impossible in this case for
unforgiveness to be hurting anyone but me.
I also realize now that I hung onto these situations for years when my first orthodontist
and my physical therapist probably never even gave the situation a second thought.
They probably forgot about it shortly after it happened. They probably treated
others the same way they treated me. It was probably not personal. They probably have no idea
that they hurt me.
Then when I was 16-25 I was going a church in the Orange Circle.
There was one lady there who would grill me about school relentlessly.
I was always afraid of her and mad at her for grilling me about school.
She didn't know what I had been through.
Not only was I projecting fear but I was transferring a trauma onto her that she knew nothing about.
She had no idea of the trauma that my first orthodontist caused me.
She didn't understand that grilling me about school only made things worse for me.
She didn't realize that the school questions was a huge trigger for me.
I was always afraid of being in an adult core group at CBS and never knew why.
I was terrified of the adults because I knew I was going to get asked about school.
Not only was I projecting fear but I was transferring a trauma onto them that they knew nothing about.
A trauma they had nothing to do with. They had no idea of the trauma that my first orthodontist caused
me. They didn't understand that grilling me about school only made things worse for me.
They didn't realize that the school questions was a huge trigger for me.
They were just trying to start a conversation. They just didn't understand that the school questions
was an emotionally traumatizing subject. If they had understood that they would have never gone there.
I can now be in an adult core group at CBS with no fear whatsoever!
Just last month a guy at church asked me about school and for the first time in 20 years I didn't panic,
I didn't freeze, I just answered him calmly without even thinking twice! That's huge!!
I'm not afraid of the school questions anymore. I don't feel threatened by it anymore.
I can now see it in a very different light.
When understanding abounds in us, it becomes much easier to “let go” of the blame and
judgement that we have directed toward others. IF we can honestly and maturely accept
everyone, including ourselves, exactly where they/we are and the way they/we are-at this very
moment-great changes in ourselves, as well as others, will automatically occur.
If we all lived by Ephesians 4:29 and “Love your neighbor as yourself” the
world would be a better place.
If we obeyed the Bible I don't think people would have so much emotional trauma.
God knew what He was doing when He gave us the Bible.
God knows the psychological impact words can have.
Since I've been able to see situations differently and let go of so much emotional stuff,
a lot of Bible verses and songs have a totally different meaning to me now.
There is a saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”.
Let me just tell you right now, that's a big fat lie! Words can be so damaging!
I just wanted to say that since age 10 I've been going to an absolutely amazingly
sweet orthodontist! DR. House! But I've always been afraid of her husband and
didn't know why until now. It's because he's male and I was traumatized by my
first orthodontist who was male.
Again, there was a subconscious association there that I was unaware of until now.
That's another piece of this puzzle. My life is like an empty puzzle and I'm just now
putting the pieces together.
originally written in 2017