{"id":915,"date":"2023-07-21T21:25:25","date_gmt":"2023-07-21T21:25:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/teambarke.com\/DLCLCN\/?page_id=915"},"modified":"2023-08-11T01:52:23","modified_gmt":"2023-08-11T01:52:23","slug":"trauma-perspective","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/teambarke.com\/DLCLCN\/?page_id=915","title":{"rendered":"Trauma perspective"},"content":{"rendered":"\nTrauma is caused by deeply distressing or disturbing experiences or an experience\n that completely overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope. \nTrauma means wound. Someone who is still carrying significant wounds from their \nexperiences that have had lasting adverse affects on their ability to function \nmentally, physically, socially, emotionally, or spiritually. <\/strong>\nTrauma changes who we are. \nIt shapes our hearts. \nTrauma changes the way we see the world, people and God. \nComplex trauma goes far and long after the event is over. \nRepeated medical treatments can be a form of trauma. \nChildren or people who aren’t able to articulate what’s happening \nor what’s happened to them, that can be traumatic. \nPeople with trauma tend to keep others at a distance. \nWe tend to judge what we don’t understand. \nFear is at the root of it.<\/strong> Often fear that we have no control over. \nWe often don’t believe the invisible. \nWe tend to dismiss or minimize the experience\/s. \n categories of woundedness\n1. physical anguish:\nanxiety, panic attacks, not being able to concentrate, fatigue, sleep, heart palpatations, stomach aches, headaches,\nWhen a trauma story goes untold, the body does all the talking. \n2. Shame:\n3. faith questions\n4. Traumatized people often have trust issues and are often emotionally dysregulated\n<\/b><\/strong>Be patient with us if we don’t want to interact or join in an activity. \nWe are scared and we need to test the waters first so to speak to make sure it’s a \nsafe thing or place for us. \n5. hypervigilince- let them be, build trust. \nHypervigilant people are very jumpy.\nTheir nervous systems are on high alert. \nDon’t sneak up on them and don’t come up behind them. \nFace them instead give a nice firm hand on the shoulder or a nice firm hug.  \nThis will help calm their nervous system. \n6. intrusions\n7. overwhelm\nThings to not say to someone with trauma or to someone who’s clearly in distress. \n1. you need to trust God more\n2. this is how you should be responding\n3. what do you think God wants you to learn from this.\n4. we’ll be praying for your shaken faith\n5. you need to find meaning in your suffering. \n6. God’s trying to teach you something, \n7. what do you think you need to learn. \nDon’t question a person’s faith or ask them to have more faith.\n<\/strong>Don’t tell them to forgive and forget. \nTraumatized people tend to set firm boundaries. \nThey have people they like and feel comfortable with \nand they have their list of people they avoid. \nThey do this to feel safe. \nGet to know a person and their story. Find out what has happened to them. \nHave a different stance. Have a different perspective. \nAllow them to lament. \nBe okay with sitting with the uncomfortable. \nRealizing that healing is a journey. It’s not a quick fix. \n<\/strong>\nSpiritual abuse:<\/b>\nControlling or condemning by using doctrine, scripture, or religious authority. <\/b>\nSometimes the spiritual abuser doesn’t know he’s abusing. \nThey often believe what they’re promoting and teaching. <\/b>\nWe’re often told that we have secret sin or a lack of faith. <\/b>\nThose who have been spiritually abused are afraid to disagree with somebody. <\/b>\nThey are afraid to speak up and voice their opinions. <\/b>\nGet to know each person’s unique experience. <\/b>\nUnderstand what passages have been used to abuse them, <\/b>\nUnderstand how those passages have been twisted <\/b>\nUnderstand how spiritual abuse has shaped that person’s view of christians, \nthe church, etc. \n<\/b>1. The spiritually abused person is going to be very fearful of you harming them. \n<\/b>They  have been tremendously wounded and they are right to be distrustful of you. \n<\/b>Be cautious and allow them that freedom. \n<\/b>2. The spiritually abused person may not be able to hear what you are actually saying. \n<\/b>Your words are being filtered through a warped grid.\n<\/b>Using a soft, gentle, empathetic tone of voice can help disarm the person \nand help calm them down. The right tone of voice can change their whole demeanor. \n3. You are going to hurt them. Caring for someone who has been spiritually abused \n<\/b>is like doing surgery in the dark. You aren’t going to be able to see or detect \n<\/b>all the wounds that you’re going to bump up against. \n<\/b>Let the person know that you realize that you are going to inadvertently hurt them \n<\/b>and I want you to tell me when I say something that you don’t understand \n<\/b>or when I say something that hurts.\n<\/b>4. They will likely struggle with assurance. \n<\/b>Christian communities will feel scary to them.\n<\/b>Be thoughtful and wise about how you think the person should engage \n<\/b>with their church, small group or bible study. \n<\/b>5. Highly reactive people. <\/b>We have very sensitive nervous systems. \n6<\/strong>. Graces of the faith that are meant to build them up are often inaccessible.\n Christian communities often feel like danger. \n<\/b>7. Recogize the healing journey is a long one. \n<\/b>8. Have a 2 dimensional view of suffering. \n<\/b>9. Invite people to rest.\n<\/b>10. Don’t debate or lecture victims.  \n<\/b>11. Let the person know that you hear them. <\/b>Validate.\n12. One thing I get all the time is when people say “forgive and forget.” \nIt’s not that easy. Churches often teach forgiveness without boundaries \nand this can be terrifying to someone who’s been traumatized. \nTraumatized people will avoid certain people or situations out of fear of it happening again. \nI hate it when people say “don’t be afraid, trust God.”.\n I’ve been very fearful of everything ever since I was a kid. \nWhen people tell me not to be afraid, it’s very invalidating and I don’t feel heard or seen. \nPTSD is the experience of having an event or a series of events that are life threatening \nthat make someone feel unsafe, out of control and the result of those experiences\n or that event lives on in the person’s life for months or years. <\/b>\nChildren are more susceptible. <\/b>\nPTSD is basically the experience of the past event or events always seeming to \nsomehow work it’s way into the present through various triggers <\/b>\nPTSD is Anything that gives someone a feeling that they’re out of control,\n they’re unsafe, <\/b>\nPeople who have experienced PTSD are often hypervigilant. <\/b>\nSafety is essential when it comes to healing. <\/b>\nSafe community is essential so people know that they aren’t alone. <\/b> Trauma can cause shame<\/b>\nSafe community can calm down the limbic region of the brain. <\/b>\nThe healing process is very slow and can be a lifetime. <\/b>\nBe patient with people <\/b>\nWe are so often alarmed by what we don’t understand<\/b>\nLook past the person’s symptoms and ask them to tell you their story. <\/b>\nDon’t try to fix the situation but listen to the person’s story<\/b>\nNotes taken from Joni and friends ministry podcast episodes. \n